


tumble and fall (but i get up again)

by alateni



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Hurt and comfort, M/M, Mirror'sEdge!AU, Seungkwan is mentioned very briefly, i still can't bring myself to write angst, i use that term lightly, i've never played mirror's edge, i've only heard of it here and there, it's also not explicitly stated, just a kind of overlaying concept that's present throughout the fic, just a little bit, kind of, university!au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2017-10-08
Packaged: 2019-01-09 17:29:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12281145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alateni/pseuds/alateni
Summary: Today is the day Minghao is coming home, and nothing could make Mingyu happier. At least, that's what he thought. Luckily for him, Minghao always has a way of surprising him.Alternatively: Mingyu realizes that sometimes, all you need to do is open up. After all, if you have a thought, chances are someone else has thought of the same thing.





	tumble and fall (but i get up again)

**Author's Note:**

> Just a quick note before the story, there's like, one concept in here kind of based off of Mirror's Edge. If you've never heard/played the game, just know that "runners" are people who deliver messages from one revolutionary group to the next because everything else is monitored by the government (I think, I've never actually played the game).

Scribbling furiously in his notes, Mingyu manages to write the last bit of information just before the professor switches the slide. Sighing in relief, Mingyu looks up to see a blank slide with nothing more than ‘Have a nice weekend!’ written on it, and almost cries in relief. Apparently, judging from the shouts and cheers from the students around him, he wasn’t alone.

Gathering his things, Mingyu hums softly as he listens to the sounds of everyone else getting ready. The boy sitting beside him bids him goodbye, and Mingyu responds with a polite nod. He didn’t have any friends in this class, and though he was friendly enough, he hadn’t managed to meet anyone new. Well, actually, that was wrong. He knew people, could recognize their faces and match names to personalities, but they never got any further than that. Most of the time Mingyu would be able to have small talk with the people around him – but they never invited him for lunch afterwards. Though, to be fair, Mingyu didn’t reach out first either.

After placing everything in his bag, Mingyu slings the pack over his shoulders and navigates his way out of the lecture hall. The room had cleared fairly quickly, considering it was the last class of the day for most and everyone wanted to get an early start on the weekend. Mingyu however, took his time. He walked slowly up the stairs to the exit at the back of the class, bowing and waving goodbye to a couple other stragglers, before leaving the room and entering the busy hallway.

Thanks to his height, Mingyu manages to walk through the crowd of people with little to no trouble. The hallways weren’t as bad as they had been back in high school, but sheer numbers were enough to make getting through the halls just a little tougher than needed to be. Regardless, Mingyu makes his way through the masses and ends up outside. While other students rush around him, much like ants on an anthill, Mingyu takes a deep breath and looks up at the sky with a smile on his face. There was some party tonight, he had overheard a couple of girls talking about it earlier that day while eating lunch. Something about celebrating the end of midterms. It had the whole campus excited – or, well, the people that cared about a night of drinking and partying at least. Mingyu though? He was excited about something else entirely.

Today was the day Minghao was coming home. Just the mere thought of it makes Mingyu smile widely. This trip hadn’t been that long – compared to Minghao’s usual journeys at least. To Mingyu though, even an hour without the Chinese male was too long. Seungkwan calls him dramatic (like he was one to judge), Mingyu just thinks he’s romantic. Regardless, Mingyu can barely contain his excitement. The usual 20-minute bus ride from campus back to his house (his and Minghao’s really – but the other boy was away more often than he was at home) seems altogether too long and too short at the same time.

Arriving home, Mingyu bursts through the door. Minghao hadn’t said anything about when he would be home, but Mingyu knew. He has a feeling, a sixth sense if you will, that Minghao is back, sleeping away in their shared bed. Mingyu always had a great intuition, ever since he was young. It was almost like he could see the future. From knowing when tests would be graded and handed back to guessing when it would rain, Mingyu’s gut was never wrong.

This time, Mingyu rushes to get his shoes off and lock the door, it proves correct once again. Sliding and almost running into the doorframe, Mingyu’s breath escapes him as his eyes finally land on the slumbering lump underneath the mass of blankets on top of their bed. Mingyu didn’t like sleeping with so many blankets – the weight suffocated him – but Minghao did. The slender boy said the pressure relaxed him, made him feel safe or something. Mingyu thinks it has something to do with how skinny he is – there’s barely any meat on the male so there couldn’t be much insulating fat to generate any body heat either. Or something like that, Mingyu stopped taking science the minute it wasn’t compulsory in high school – you couldn’t really blame him for not knowing how the human body worked (though, going off in a bit of a tangent, he knew how Minghao’s body worked _quite_ well).

A contrast to his previous, bumbling self, Mingyu makes his way over to the bed quietly and carefully. The floorboard near the bed dresser creaks slightly – like it always does – but Mingyu and Minghao are so used to it that it is easily ignored. Sinking to his knees next to Minghao’s resting form, Mingyu slowly pulls the blankets back from where they were bunched above Minghao’s head and lets his fingers trace the soft lines on Minghao’s face.

Letting out a breath he didn’t even realize he was holding, Mingyu’s lips fall into a soft smile. It was a bit creepy, Mingyu realizes a couple of minutes later, to be sitting on the floor, watching someone sleep (not to mention stroking their face and hair as well), but Mingyu didn’t mind. He was a bit creepy, he’ll admit, to Minghao at least. From peeking at Minghao in the shower to observing him eat, Mingyu loves to just watch the other boy. He thinks, subconsciously, that it has something to do with the fact that Minghao isn’t around very often. It’s like a confirmation for Mingyu, a little reminder that yes, Minghao is still here, safe and sound, and _no_ , he wasn’t going to leave without telling Mingyu. Not like the last time.

Minghao is a runner, and though it was his dream ever since he could walk, Mingyu still wishes he could stay home a little longer each time. Mingyu loves him, the taller boy will always support Minghao with every ounce of his soul, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t selfish – every human was, innately. Though Minghao was out making a difference and doing what he loves, Mingyu couldn’t help but pout and whine whenever the younger boy left for weeks and sometimes months on end. Limited contact made things so much harder, especially when Mingyu knew Minghao was almost constantly in potential danger.

He worries, Mingyu does. He can do nothing else. He isn’t strong enough to protect Minghao, nor is he fast or lithe enough to join Minghao in his runs. All Mingyu can do is sit at home, keep things nice and organized, and cook a hearty meal to welcome Minghao home. Oh, and help him with his schoolwork. For whatever reason, Minghao refuses to drop out of university. While most runners immediately stopped schooling after high school (they didn’t need it, anything they had to learn was taught to them by their officers after all), Minghao continued. It’s odd, inconvenient almost – with how much school Minghao misses – but the boy kept at it. And Mingyu helps whenever and wherever he can; whether that was by taking neat and detailed notes for him in the classes they had together or by _getting_ notes from Minghao’s classmates and reformatting them just the way Minghao likes. Whatever he could do, Mingyu would try to help.

But somethings he can’t do. He can’t erase the lines of worry that mar Minghao’s young face. Can’t help him escape from the nightmares – the paranoia of always being chased. Even when he’s off duty, Minghao constantly looks over his shoulder, senses heightened for signs of danger. The only time he ever relaxed, which wasn’t often, is when he is asleep in Mingyu’s arms. Even now, Mingyu brushes an eyelash off of Minghao’s cheek, the student can tell that Minghao wasn’t fully relaxed. There’s a tension to his jaw, a rigidness in his muscles that reflect his ability to get up and take off at the slightest noise. Mingyu rubs at Minghao’s cheek, trying to get the other boy’s jaw to stop clenching – it was bad for his teeth after all.

“You’re back?” Mingyu’s eyes drop down and stare at Minghao’s sleepy ones. The lithe boy yawns, a hand reaching up to grab at Mingyu’s, before intertwining their fingers together.

“Did I wake you?” Mingyu asks, though he knows the answer is yes. No matter how quiet he thinks he’s being, Minghao always hears him. It’s good in a way, seeing how it means that he is well trained enough to hear even the softest footsteps, but it always makes Mingyu feel bad. Minghao barely gets enough sleep as it is.

“No,” Minghao smiles reassuringly. Mingyu wants to protest, tell him he’s lying, but Minghao looks soft, pliant, so he keeps his mouth shut and focuses on the pressure from Minghao’s hand instead. “I woke up all by myself,” Minghao says, imitating a toddler. He flutters his eyelashes. “Aren’t I a good boy?”

“Didn’t know you were into that,” Mingyu teases, leaning forwards to press a soft kiss against Minghao’s lips. They’re chapped, and severely dehydrated. Mingyu doubts Minghao has had enough water in the past week with how physically demanding his runs are, but he keeps quiet. He does, however, make a mental note to make some sort of soup for dinner tonight.

“Only if you are,” Minghao hums, and chases Mingyu’s lips for another kiss.

They end up in the middle of the bed, with Minghao in between Mingyu’s legs. Minghao’s head is resting in the crook of Mingyu’s neck, and Mingyu can feel the other boy’s breath every time he laughs. It’s comforting, domestic even. It’s moments like this where Mingyu can close his eyes and pretend that every day is as good as this. Where he doesn’t have to wake up one day to Minghao leaving with a quick kiss on his temple and a hushed promise to be careful.

Because Mingyu knows, no matter how careful a runner was, there’s always something that trips them up eventually.

“You’re thinking too loudly,” Minghao whispers against Mingyu’s neck. He leans up, nipping the skin playfully. Mingyu gasps, making the smaller boy giggle. Kissing the spot again, Minghao continues upwards, until he has to crane his neck to reach the space behind Mingyu’s ear. “I hope you wash up here when you shower,” Minghao says. Mingyu laughs, clutching at Minghao’s waist tightly.

“I do,” Mingyu reassures the other boy, though he’s sure Minghao would continue his journey even if he said he didn’t.

Minghao grins, “wonderful.” Mingyu hums in response, adjusting his hold on Minghao so that he can pull the other boy closer. It fixes their position so that Minghao no longer has to awkwardly angle his neck, and the Chinese male presses another kiss to Mingyu’s cheekbone in appreciation. “But seriously,” Minghao continues, “what’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Mingyu replies, determined not to burden Minghao with his doubts. This is not the time. Communication in a relationship was key, Mingyu knows that, but not now. Not when he’s relaxed, in this bedroom where nothing could hurt him. Mingyu didn’t want to deal with his doubts, he just wants to curl up next to Minghao and feel the agile boy’s hands on his chest. But Minghao was never one to let Mingyu live comfortably. He pushes him, pushes him to be better, smarter, more ambitious. It always works out in Minghao’s favour in the end, but that didn’t mean Mingyu didn’t sigh and fight back every step of the way.

“You’re lying,” Minghao huffs, sitting up so he can stare Mingyu in the eyes. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

Mingyu stays silent for a while, wondering whether or not he can beat Minghao in this waiting game. The minute he looks into Minghao’s eyes however, he knows he has lost. While most thought of runners as prey, Mingyu knows Minghao is a predator. A hunter in blood and spirit, Minghao would never lose, not when he knows what he wants. No matter how long it took, Minghao would observe, stalk, and eventually pounce – getting a perfect kill each time. It is, after all, a major contributing factor to Minghao’s rapid rise through the ranks of runners. And so Mingyu concedes. Better to bite the bullet he guesses, though he’s never really understood what that saying meant.

“How long are you staying?” Mingyu asks. Minghao looks at him oddly for a bit, before sighing and staring down at the bed instead. Mingyu shifts uncomfortably, feeling very much like a little kid that asked their father a stupid question. “I mean,” Mingyu coughs, not sure what to say. He knew Minghao felt guilty about staying away for so long. The other boy loves his job, Mingyu knows that from the weary yet happy expression on his face whenever he tells Mingyu about his adventures, but there are cons to everything. In this case, it means staying away from Mingyu more often that not. “I was just curious, you know? It would be… easier to know,” Mingyu chooses his words carefully, “rather than be left in the dark.”

Minghao sighs again, and Mingyu tries to pluck the words out of the air and take them back. He can’t however, and now they’re both thinking back. Back to the time where Minghao had to leave for an emergency mission – which meant stealing through the dark of night while Mingyu slumbered away. The next morning Mingyu had awoken to an empty, cold bed and a lifeless note on his dresser. It had been the worst run of Minghao and Mingyu’s life – especially since it lasted a year and ended in failure for Minghao. The two had very nearly broken up after that – and even went as far as taking a break from one another, before realising that they were more willing to work on their faults together than to never see each other again. And, well, they had been working on it. From trying to communicate more during Minghao’s runs to being more accommodating to the other person, things were getting better. They just weren’t getting better fast enough, in Mingyu’s opinion at least.

“I,” Minghao wets his lips.

“It’s okay,” Mingyu says instead. He holds Minghao’s hands, rubbing his thumb over Minghao’s calloused skin. He remembers a time when Minghao’s hands were softer than his – smooth and unmarred. Back when Mingyu would tease Minghao about the blisters and callouses that covered his hands and feet due to the various training exercises he was forced to participate in. He wishes he could go back in time and punch himself in the face. He’d tell himself to treat Minghao better, massage his abused body after a particularly hard parkouring session, stock up on soothing bandages and rubbing alcohol – because even though Minghao acts like he’s fine, at the end of the day he just wants to be pampered.

“I didn’t,” Mingyu fumbles over his words. “It’s not a big deal, sorry.”

“No,” Minghao says forcefully. “It _is_ a big deal.” Mingyu looks up, biting his lips as Minghao glares down at their hands. “I haven’t,” Minghao sighs, letting go of Mingyu’s hands. Slightly hurt, Mingyu leaves them where they are while Minghao brings his own closer to his face and examines all the scars, scabs, and callouses that riddle them. “I haven’t been spending enough time here.”

“It’s alright,” Mingyu tries to comfort the other boy, sensing Minghao’s distress. “You’re doing great, this is what you want right? You’re achieving so much! And it’s not like that’s the only thing you’re doing, you’ve got so much else too–”

“That’s the _thing_ ,” Minghao forces out, the words sounding more like an anguished sound than words. “Is this what I really want?”

“What do you mean?” Mingyu’s eyes widen, not sure how to deal with the scene unfolding in front of him. He’s good with people, usually. Emotions come naturally to him. Unlike others who hold them in and don’t talk about them, Mingyu is always open about his feelings. He isn’t afraid to be emotional or sensitive, didn’t see the point in hiding them behind a wall. They’re a part of him, just like his face and personality. In the end, they would seep through anyways, so there’s no real need to pretend they didn’t exist. As such, Mingyu always considered himself pretty emotionally smart. This though, he had no clue how to even _start_ dealing with the problem.

“Sure,” Minghao says softly, “I’m doing great. I’m a runner, I’ve achieved that dream. I’ve even gained a reputation for myself,” Minghao hushes Mingyu with a look before the other boy can even form the word ‘congratulations’. “But is that what I really want? Do I really want to do _this_ all my life?” Minghao gestures around the room, though Mingyu still isn’t entirely sure what he was referring to.

“I don’t,” Mingyu’s eyes narrow. “I don’t get it.”

“I _miss_ you!” Minghao explodes. It isn’t an angry outburst, just a sad one – filled with longing, disappointment, hurt. It’s like Minghao had been pretending all this time, pretending to be okay with not seeing Mingyu for months on end. And to be honest, Mingyu is pretending too. Acting happy whenever he could see or hear from Minghao, but staring at the wall emotionless the minute the call ended.

“I miss you, I miss my family, I miss my friends, hell, Mingyu, I miss _homework_ ,” Minghao lists, getting more and more distressed with every second. There are tears in his eyes, mirroring the ones in Mingyu’s. “I miss exams, I miss laughing uncontrollably because it’s 3 AM and you have an exam in 5 hours yet you haven’t even studied half of what you need to. I miss going out for bubble tea or food after school, eating stall food even though it’s late and there are no nutrients to be found in food like that. I miss waking up and realizing I missed class, only to fall back into bed and go back to bed. I miss laughing with everyone, I miss celebrating birthdays, I miss celebrating little moments too. I miss being a part of inside jokes, of being a _part_ of the memory instead of being _informed_ of it. I miss,” Minghao chokes up, unable to finish his thought.

Mingyu rushes forwards, enveloping the other boy in a hug. It’s only now, with Minghao uncontrollably sobbing into Mingyu’s chest, that the taller boy notices just how _small_ Minghao is. The other boy always seems so confident, with his wild hair colours, loud fashion style, and silent charisma that Mingyu forgets that Minghao used to be that shy, unsure boy with an odd accent. And here, here it makes an appearance again. Minghao sniffles into Mingyu’s shirt, clutching onto the material like he would float away if he let up even a little bit. Mingyu presses kisses into Minghao’s hair, hands caressing and comforting him in any way possible. Mingyu had forgotten just how _human_ Minghao was. With his accomplishments as a runner and the dream-like effect the other boy has on Mingyu’s life, Mingyu had almost painted him as a ghost in his mind. Always just out of reach but close enough to lust for – now Mingyu realizes that Minghao feels the same about him.

“I’m taking a break,” Minghao says, hours later. They haven’t moved, still in that spot on the bed. The sun has set by now, casting the room into darkness, but neither of them think it important enough to get up and turn on the lights. Mingyu’s back is cramped with how he’s huddled over Minghao’s body, but Minghao has only just stopped hyperventilating and Mingyu thinks a sore back the next morning is worth the serene expression on Minghao’s face.

“A… break?” Mingyu echoes, words sounding weird on his tongue.

“Ever since the end of high school I’ve been working, running towards my goals,” Minghao nods. “I never realized that I was burning too quickly. Once a candle burns out, it can’t be relit – it won’t be the same. I don’t want to burn out,” Minghao confesses. “So, I talked to my supervisors and they also agreed that it would be good to take a rest. Runners usually work in rotations anyways – I had just been too ambitious and took up any job that I could.”

“You tend to be a little hot headed,” Mingyu replies experimentally. He’s met with a glare and a slight upturn of Minghao’s lips – good enough for now.

“Quiet you,” Minghao bites back.

“How long?” Mingyu questions tentatively. He feels like he’s an entirely new person, toeing around an unfamiliar area with no idea as to where the lines were to be drawn.

“A year,” Minghao answers, mouth turning into a full blown smile. Mingyu’s mind stops working. A year. Minghao would be with him for a whole year – for New Years, for Christmas, for Valentine’s Day, Minghao would be back for them all.

“You’re lying,” Mingyu immediately whispers.

“I’m not,” Minghao laughs, eyes crinkling at the corners. “I’m all yours for a year – actually it’s a little more than a year.”

“Even better,” Mingyu grins, elation finally making its presence known in Mingyu’s heart and now, the room no longer looks as dim as it was before.

“ _Oof!_ ” Minghao grunts, falling backwards as Mingyu lunges forwards to hug him tightly against his chest. They end up on the floor, momentum carrying them too far, but Mingyu doesn’t care. Suddenly he’s laughing, a bubbling kind of giggle that can’t seem to contain itself within Mingyu’s body.

Minghao laughs as well, Mingyu’s giggles infecting him with some sort of joy neither boy can explain. Maybe it’s the good news, or maybe it’s merely the delightful feeling of being with a loved one – whatever it is, neither Minghao or Mingyu could stop laughing for a very long time.

“Okay,” Minghao calms down first, waiting patiently as Mingyu gets the last of his giggles out. “Let’s get up, we should eat or something right? I doubt you’ve had anything to eat since lunch time.”

“You too,” Mingyu chides.

“Exactly, so let’s go,” Minghao pushes lightly at Mingyu’s body on top of him. He could’ve easily gotten the other boy off of him – such are the martial art skills of a runner – but Minghao is too nice for that. Instead, he often let Mingyu push him around, as if Mingyu’s one-a-week trips to the gym could compare to Minghao’s levels of physical activity.

“Mmm, in a moment,” Mingyu clutches Minghao tighter. The other boy rolls his eyes but lets himself melt into Mingyu’s embrace nonetheless. “After all, what’s the rush? We’ve got a whole year.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I'm kind of sorry for not posting anything (or replying to any messages) for a while. I just started university this year and between moving in, learning how things work, balancing my studies, and trying to make friends (which I'm low key bad at), thing's have been busy. I'm getting the hang of stuff now though so hopefully I'll be able to work on some more stuff.
> 
> I also have another Gyuhao fic I've been working on for a long time and am hoping to get out sometime this month. It's been my baby for so long I hope you all like it (low key get HYPE but also high key who knows if I'll get it out in time).
> 
> Gosh this is kind of a long author's note but I could ramble for years honestly (anyone whose read any of the comments I leave for other fanfics would know that lol) but I'll try to keep it short. But in relation to the story, I've never played Mirror's Edge or watched any playthroughs but god can I imagine Minghao as a runner or something like that. With his powerful yet elegant dancing he'd make such a lithe and agile parkourist (is that what they're called?) I love that image.
> 
>   
> Hope you're smiling!  
> 
> 
>   
> ~ alateni  
> 


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